babywearing

i’ve found myself to be a full on brooklyn parent, into breastfeeding, babywearing, eating organic and local foods, free-range meats, even composting when i can. it’s amazing to live here as a new parent. there is no neighborhood that is more family friendly than the one i live in. in fact, we’re known as babytown to the general locals.

i write this more than a year later as i haven’t had time to write. but i can tell you how fast time flies. sleeping challenges, the teeth come in, she eats with a spoon – mashed up solids, then actual solids. going back to the personality thing – it’s amazing how much they are their own person and how much they learn – simply astounding. i have such respect for these little babies b/c they are doing SO much more than i’m doing or anyone else i know. hah. that is weird to say, but it really is seriously incredible. you have to just watch them day by day and to see them grow, change and develop is just insane. i didn’t know human beings could do it til i saw my own up close and right there. i’ll say it again, simply amazing.

i felt that i might be an attachment parent and i certainly started out as one. but there are many aspects of it that i distance myself from completely. but aside from that, the one thing i do love about that style of parenting is the babywearing.

i’m a huge fan of babywearing more because (1) it is good for mom and for baby, (2) it’s easier to get around especially in a big city, and (3, bonus) it keeps you in shape. DH & i went thru a lotta hoops while i was still pregnant to make sure we babywore. we went to classes, tried on a bunch, read up on it. however when little V turned 22 months we found our carriers to be too small and so we stopped carrying her, resigned ourself to the stroller thinking our babywearing days were over *tear*.

but desperate to wear her again more for logistical reasons (traveling), i turned to thebabywearer.com to get the scoop on toddler-wearing. and boy lookie what i found. mothers like myself totally ADDICTED to babywearing and “gear” …

i just love that mothers like myself talk about gear the way boys talk about their fishing tackle gear, or their racing gear, or what have you. i’m a total gear-head so i fit in with this culture PERFECTLY. it is awesome! esp. if you babywear/toddlerwear a lot, you really want all the features and comfort you can possibly find to make it possible to carry for long stretches of time.

it’s so under the radar, this core group of wrapping mommies, SSC (soft-structured carrier) mommies and MT (mei-tai) mommies. but go mommies! learning from moms all over the globe who babywear, taking their centuries of ages old knowledge and implementing them into their current lives. and i guess strollers fall under that “gear-head” category but i think that is both parents not just mommies. the dads seem to babywear, but don’t seem to care about the gear, at least not to the extent that these mommies do! on this board, i just read moms and moms to be posts on questions, reviews, thoughts. also we all stalk gear that is for sale or trade (FSOT)…

so fun.

valerie’s personality tidbits

1. at 2 months it was pretty clear when she wanted to be fed. if she didn’t get fed, boy was there hell to pay! 2. at 3 months she started smiling at us on purpose! we think this is because her eyes started to work and see our faces looking at her. 3. she is pretty laid back about everything. you can do anything, she could be doing anything and all is fine. 4. did i mention she gets cranky when she’s not fed? or if she’s sleepy? yes she discovered screaming and she likes it too. 5. separation anxiety kicks in at 7 months and change. now it is full-blown. she doesn’t want anyone but her mommy 😦 6. she really loves kicking and pushing off any surface with her legs, including you. she likes them legs and the independence she hopes to gain with them. 7. she hits things she doesn’t want and turns her head away. she doesn’t reject the things she does want (like food!). 8. she is easily persuaded to be happy. 9. she likes to be tossed in the air and tickled GENTLY. both make her giggle like no tomorrow. 10. she gets bee-juh-suh which is the korean word for a reaction to being slighted. especially when her parents do the damage. 11. she has new and more emotions all the time, making her more complex and her cries harder to figure out.

Things I did and did not know going into motherhood

Things I did know:

1. newborns can’t see. newborns can hear ya. newborns eat every 2-3 hours nonstop (meaning you don’t get sleep).

2. meconium. colostrum. these are words i learned among others.

3. your contractions can be abnormal going into labor. mine were 6 minutes apart. then 2. then 3. then 5. then 2. then 6. then 3. then 2. i thought ha! this is false labor. little did i know, these were signaling the real thing. how, you ask? they were getting stronger and stronger. in the 2nd hour i had a feeling this is probably it. by the 3rd-4th hour it was pretty darn clear.

4. use your early contraction hours to figure out how to alleviate the pain and cope. have your birth partner assist you. you will not be able to do it alone when you get to active labor.

5. i wanted a natural medication-free childbirth. i saw the business of being born by ricki lake, i read ina may’s guide to childbirth, and mayo clinic’s healthy guide to pregnancy. i wanted to avoid drugs and western medicine techniques at all levels. then i talked to my doctor who said it’s not terrible if you cave into the drugs. so i kept my options open. this is probably the most important thing to know going into labor: have a plan, but every birth is different so keep your options open!

6. how many diapers a newborn typically goes thru (about 12)

Things I learned after the fact:

1. have a birth plan and ask someone else to help enforce it such as a close friend or relative. your birth partner will not be able to do this and handle you in labor at the same time.

2. all newborns have these little whiteheads all over their face. no they did not get a rash coming out of you or anything. i was horrified and worried to see my baby’s lil nose covered in these things. these things are called ‘milia’ and they are supposed to be there! they typically go away with time.

3. newborns always look drunk/loopy. not just after drinking milk. altho drinking milk exacerbates it. it’s cute but kinda weird. i just laughed at how funny it was. what else can you do?

4. when your baby cries terrifically hard after you’ve fed, burped, changed, napped him/her, try feeding him/her again. remember that supplementing is important so you don’t starve your baby accidentally. more often than not, your milk will come in eventually if you keep at it – so don’t sweat it.

5. reasons newborns cry: a. feeding b. burping c. changing d. sleep – sometimes a newborn will cry if (s)he is uncomfortable – ours cried here and there because she didn’t like how her hat fit. you will just have to guess if you don’t have a book where they offer you suggestions/thoughts on this.

6. mommying is the hardest on the job training i’ve had, but that little one is so worth it! it’s nothing like i expected (i expected my fun life to end and meet loads of responsibility) – and it’s more amazing than i imagined. i had no idea what to expect, but i guessed. my guesses didn’t come close. nope not one.

7. breastfeeding is easier for you and for the baby in the lying down position. both you and the baby get to doze off together. it promotes healthy sleep for the both of you set off conveniently by all those hormones that are released when the baby sucks on you! it also allows your neck/shoulders/back to rest instead of strain over the baby or concentrate too hard on your posture.

Maternity leave ends. Maternity life still beginning…

i gave birth to valerie-lynn on january 2nd, 2011. fast forward 24 weeks, and i’m in brooklyn ready to give it all up to go back to work. well, not giving up motherhood entirely but it certainly feels that way. and queue…

wait! a rather emergent emergency presented itself: valerie would not feed, would not sleep, no she most certainly would not! she would just cry cry cry in the hands of her daycare providers. it was mayhem. in my heart (as much as my poor little mommy heart could take). my direct supervisor had the unfortunate experience of hearing me melt down over the phone. i was generously and very casually granted another week of maternity leave. whew! mommy crisis averted.

they don’t tell you this mommying thing comes with a lot of unplanned mishaps. i was forewarned about the exploding poop-ies and the spit up/throw up. but not about how a mishap can make you have a stressful meltdown, bigger than any other meltdown you’ve experienced in your life thus far. so this is why they recommend going thru the routine and schedule 2 weeks prior to returning to work! to have it all pat down and to avoid making a bad impression at work once d-day comes around. my daycare provider said oh we could do 1 week, no problem. well, needless to say i should have heeded the common advice because valerie needed 1.5 weeks to adjust. lesson learned.

singlemost important piece of advice i’ve received thus far: enjoy every moment because it goes by so fast. it’s kind of the reason why i’m starting to record my thoughts and experiences here…so i don’t forget it and so i get to share it with those who love us.